Mulla (a.k.a. Hodja or Hoca) Nasrudin is the starring character in a vast number of amusing tales told in regions all over the world, particularly in countries in or near the Middle East. Each tale depicts Nasrudin in a different situation, and through his viewpoint they humorously reveal commentary and lessons on various life themes. The great allure of the Mulla Nasrudin tales is that they are funny as well as lesson filled, philosophical, and thought provoking.

The Mulla Nasrudin Character

Mulla, Hodja, and Hoca are titles from various areas of the world that in early times were used to signify a learned man.

The character Mulla (/ Hodja / Hoca) Nasrudin is sometimes wise, sometimes foolish, and sometimes both. He is a unique spin on a wise sage or philosopher character.

Much of Nasrudin's actions and can be described as illogical yet logical, rational yet irrational, bizarre yet normal, and simple yet profound. What adds even further to his uniqueness is the way he gets across his messages in unconventional yet very effective methods.

Origins and History

Mulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have become legendary products of a variety of people's observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today's universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.
Sufis (who are covered in the Sufism chapter of this book) also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans (see the Zen Buddhism chapter for more info on koans).

Also Known As

In different regions, the character goes by such aliases as:

Mulla Nasrudin

Hodja / Hoca Nasreddin

Nasreddin Hodja / Hoca

Effendi

Variations of Mulla: Molla, Mullah, Mollah, Maualana

Variations of Nasrudin: Nasreddin, Nasruddin, Nasiruddin, Nastradin, Nasreddine, Nasredin, Nastradhin, Nasrettin, Nastratin, Nasr Eddin, Nasr Ud Din, Nasr Id Deen, Nasirud Din, Nasr Ed Dine, Stradin

Variations of Hodja / Hoca: Hocca, Hodscha, Khoja, Hoja, Hogia, Hodza, Hogea, Hodza, Khodja, Chotza, Chotzas, Joha, Juha

Variations of Effendi: Ependi, Afandi, Efendi

MULLA NASRUDIN FOLKTALES

The Moving Friend

"Nasrudin," a friend said one day, "I am moving to another village. Can I have your ring, so that I will remember you every time I look at it?"

Nasrudin replied, “Well, you might lose the ring and then forget about me. How about I don’t give you a ring in the first place—that way, every time that you look at your finger and don’t see a ring, you will definitely remember me.”

Clothes Shopping

Nasrudin was shopping for clothes. He tried on a coat, and then took it off, and said to the storeowner, “Well, I don’t really want this. Take it and give me a pair of pants instead.”

The storeowner did, and then Nasrudin put the pants on and began walking out of the store. The storeowner stopped him and said, “Sir, you forgot to pay me for those pants.”

Nasrudin replied, “I exchanged the coat for these pants.”

The storeowner said, “But you did not pay for that coat, either.”

Nasrudin responded, “Of course I didn’t—why would I pay for something I chose not to take!”

The Loan Request

A friend asked Nasrudin, “Can I borrow 1000 toman from you for three months.”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “I can fulfill half of your loan request.”

“OK; that’s fine,” the friend said, “I’m sure I can get the other 500 toman somewhere else.”

“You misunderstood me,” Nasrudin replied. “The half of your loan request I agreed to was the time: the three months. As for the 1000 toman, I cannot give it to you.”

Can I Borrow Your Donkey?

A man knocked on Nasrudin’s door. When Nasrudin opened it, the friend asked, “Can I borrow your donkey?”

“I would love to help you,” Nasrudin replied, “but I have already lent it to someone else.”

Just then, a loud donkey noise came from Nasrudin’s yard.

“Hey,” the man said, “I just heard the donkey make a noise from your yard!”

Nasrudin quickly retorted, “Do you mean to tell me that you are going to take the word of a donkey over mine?”

Sack of Vegetables

Nasrudin snuck into someone’s garden and began putting vegetables in his sack. The owner saw him and shouted, “What are you doing in my garden?”

Nasrudin confidently responded, “The wind blew me here.”

“That sounds like BS to me,” the man replied, “but let’s assume that the wind did blow you here. Now then, how can you explain how those vegetables were pulled out from my garden?”
“Oh, that’s simple,” Nasrudin responded. “I had to grab them to stop myself from being thrown any further by the wind.”

“Well,” the man continued, “then tell me this—how did the vegetables get in your sack?”

“You know what,” Nasrudin said, “I was just standing here and wondering that same thing myself!”


What in the World Were You Smuggling?

Nasrudin the smuggler was leading a donkey that had bundles of straw on its back. An experienced border inspector spotted Nasrudin coming to his border.

“Halt,” the inspector said. “What is your business here?”

“I am an honest smuggler!” replied Nasrudin.

“Oh, really?” said the inspector. “Well, let me search those straw bundles. If I find something in them, then you are required to pay a border fee!”

“Do as you wish, “Nasrudin replied, “but you will not find anything in those bundles.”

The inspector intensively searched and took apart the bundles, but could not find a single thing in them. He turned to Nasrudin and said, “You have managed to get one by me today. You may pass the border.”

Nasrudin crossed the border with his donkey while the annoyed inspector looked on. And then the very next day, Nasrudin once again came to the border with a straw-carrying donkey. The inspector saw Nasrudin coming and thought, “I’ll get him for sure this time.”

He checked the bundles of straw again, and then searched through Nasrudin’s clothing, and even went through the donkey’s harness. But once again he came up empty handed and had to let Nasrudin pass.

This same pattern continued every day for several years, and every day Nasrudin wore more and more extravagant clothing and jewelry that indicated he was getting wealthier. Eventually, the inspector retired from his longtime job, but even in retirement he still wondered about the man with the straw-carrying donkey.

“I should have checked that donkey’s mouth more extensively,” he thought to himself. “Or maybe he hid something in the donkey’s rectum.”

Then one day he spotted Nasrudin’s face in a crowd. “Hey,” the inspector said, “I know you! You are that man who came to my border everyday for all those years with a straw-carrying donkey. Please, sir, I must talk to you.”

Nasrudin came towards him and the inspector continued talking. “My friend, I always wondered what you were smuggling past my border everyday. Just between you and me, you must tell me. I must know. What in the world were you smuggling for all those years? I must know!”

Nasrudin simply replied, “donkeys.”

The Donkey Seller

Nasrudin brought his donkey to sell at the bazaar, but every time a customer wanted to inspect it, the donkey began biting and being uncooperative. One man asked Nasrudin, “Do you really expect to sell a donkey that behaves like that?”

Nasrudin replied, “Not really; I just brought him here so other people would experience what I have to put up with every day!”


Nasrudin Gets Engaged

Nasrudin got engaged to a woman. The fiancée’s mother invited Nasrudin to her house to ask him some questions.

“Tell me,” she said, “are you sure this is the first time you are getting married?”

“Yes,” Nasrudin replied, “I swear on my two kids that I have never been married before.”

The Baby is Crying

Late one night, Nasrudin’s baby started crying. Nasrudin’s wife turned to him and said, “Husband, go take care of the baby. After all, he is not only mine—he is also half yours.”

Nasrudin sleepily remarked, “You can go stop your half from crying if you want, but I choose to let my half continue to cry.”

Complaints About Nasrudin’s Wife

One day, the local people complained to Nasrudin, “Your wife is always walking here and there, going to all sorts of different places. It is improper for a woman to do that. Tell her that she should stop moving around so much.”

“OK,” Nasrudin said. “If she ever comes to our house, I will be sure to tell her.”

Nasrudin Wants a Divorce

Nasrudin went to the village judge and asked to divorce his wife. When the judge asked what her name was, Nasrudin replied, “Man…I don’t know.”

The judge curiously asked, “Well, how long have you been married to her?’

“Five years,” Nasrudin replied.

The judge incredulously responded, “Do you mean to tell me that after five year of marriage, you do not know your wife’s name?”

“That is correct,” said Nasrudin.

“Why not?” asked the judge.

“Because,” Nasrudin explained, “I did not have social relations with her.”


Man Searches for Joy

One day, Nasrudin began talking to a man from another town. The man lamented to Nasrudin, “I am rich, but I am also sad and miserable. I have taken my money and gone traveling in search of joy—but alas, I have yet to find it.”

As the man continued speaking, Nasrudin grabbed the man’s bag and ran off with it. The man chased Nasrudin, and Nasrudin soon ran out of his sight. He hid behind a tree, and put the bag in the open road for the man to see.

When the man caught up, he located the bag, and his facial expression immediately turned from distress to joy. As he danced in celebration of finding his bag, Nasrudin thought to himself, “That is one way to bring joy to a sad man.”

Nasrudin Eats Dates

A man noticed Nasrudin eating dates with their seeds, and asked, “Why are you eating the seeds of those dates?”

Nasrudin remarked, “Because the merchant who sold them to me included the weight of the seeds in his price.”


Grammar

Nasrudin was ferrying a traveler across a lake. As they spoke on various subjects, Nasrudin made a minor grammatical error. The traveler remarked, “You who wears a turban and calls himself a Mulla—have you ever studied grammar extensively?”

“No,” Nasrudin admitted, “I have not covered that subject in depth.”

“Well then,” the traveler replied,” you have wasted half of your life!”

Several minutes later, Nasrudin turned to the traveler and asked, “Have you ever learned how to swim?”

“No,” the traveler responded.

“Well then,” Nasrudin replied, “you have wasted all your life—for there is a hole in the boat, and we are sinking!”

Across the River

Nasrudin was standing near a river. A man on the other side of the river shouted to him, “Hey! How can I get across the river?”

“You are across!” Nasrudin shouted back.

When Will the End of the World Be?

Philosopher: “I have been traveling, researching, and contemplating for years, trying to determine when the end of the world will be—yet I still have not found out the answer. Mulla, do you know when the end of the world will be?”
Nasrudin: “Yes—I have known that information for a long time.”
Philosopher: “Well, will you share this knowledge with me?”
Nasrudin: “Of course. When I die, that will be the end of the world.”
Philosopher: “Are you certain that will be the end of the world?”
Nasrudin: “It will be for me.”

The Pot

Nasrudin borrowed a pot from his friend. The next day, he gave the pot back to the friend, and also gave him another smaller pot. The friend looked at the small pot, and said, “What is that?”

“Your pot gave birth while I had it,” Nasrudin replied, “so I am giving you its child.”

The friend was glad to receive the bonus, and didn’t ask any more questions.

A week later, Nasrudin borrowed the original pot from the friend. After a week passed, the friend asked Nasrudin to return it.

“I cannot,” Nasrudin said.

“Why not?” the friend replied.

“Well,” Nasrudin answered, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but your pot has died.”

“What?” the friend asked with skepticism. “A pot cannot die!”

“You believed it gave birth,” Nasrudin said, “so is why is it that you cannot believe it has died.”

The Town Gossip

The Town Gossip: “Nasrudin, I just saw a huge tub of choresht (stew) that some men were transporting.”
Nasrudin: “What’s it to me?”
The Town Gossip: “They were delivering it to your house.”
Nasrudin: “What’s it to you?”

The Stranger’s Request

One day, Nasrudin was repairing his roof, and was interrupted by a stranger knocking on his door.

“What do you want?” Nasrudin shouted down to him from the roof.

“Come down so I can tell you,” the stranger replied.

Nasrudin angrily climbed down the ladder. “Well!” Nasrudin snapped at the stranger, “What is so important?”

“Can you spare some money for this poor old man?” asked the stranger in a near whisper.

Nasrudin started to climb up the ladder and said, “Follow me up to the roof.”

When they both reached the roof, Nasrudin turned to the stranger and said, “No, you can’t have any money. Now get off my roof!”

Avoiding Criticism

Nasrudin and his son were traveling with their donkey. Nasrudin preferred to walk while his son rode the donkey. But then they passed a group of bystanders, and one scoffed, “Look—that selfish boy is riding on a donkey while his poor old father is forced to walk alongside. That is so disrespectful. What a horrible and spoiled child!”

Nasrudin and his son felt embarrassed, so they switched spots—this time Nasrudin rode the donkey while his son walked.

Soon they passed another group of people. “Oh, that’s detestable!” one of them exclaimed. “That poor young boy has to walk while his abusive father rides the donkey! That horrible man should be ashamed of himself for the way he is treating his son. What a heartless parent!”

Nasrudin was upset to hear this. He wanted to avoid anybody else’s scorn, so he decided to have both himself and his son ride the donkey at the same time.

As they both rode, they passed another group of people. “That man and his son are so cruel,” one bystander said. “Just look at how they are forcing that poor donkey to bear the weight if two people. They should be put in jail for their despicable act. What scoundrels!”

Nasrudin heard this and told his son, “I guess the only way we can avoid the criticism of others is to both walk.”

“I suppose you are right,” the son replied.
So they got off the donkey and continued on foot. But as they passed another group of people, they heard them laughing. “Ha, ha, ha,” the group jeered. “Look at those two fools. They are so stupid that both of them are walking under this scorching hot sun and neither of them is riding the donkey! What morons!”

Note: The next two stories portray Nasrudin as the village judge.

Judge Nasrudin’s Ruling on the Cow-on-Cow Homicide

A neighbor ran into Judge Nasrudin’s room and asked him, “If one man’s cow kills another’s, is the owner of the first cow responsible?”

“It depends,” Nasrudin cautiously answered.

“Well,” said the man, “your cow has killed mine!”

“Oh,” answered Nasrudin. “Well, everyone knows that a cow can’t think like a human. So obviously, a cow isn’t responsible. And therefore, its owner isn’t responsible either.”

“Excuse me, Judge,” the man interrupted, “I made a mistake. What I meant to say is that my cow has killed yours!”

Judge Nasrudin sat in contemplation for a few moments. “Now that I think about it more carefully,” he announced, “this case is much more complex then I initially though.”

Judge Nasrudin turned to his assistant and said, “Please bring me that big blue book on the shelf behind you…”

You are Right

Judge Nasrudin was listening to a case. After hearing the plaintiff present his side, Nasrudin remarked, “You are right.”

Then the defendant presented his side, and Nasrudin remarked, “Yes, you are right.”

Nasrudin’s wife had been listening to the case, and incredulously remarked, “Nasrudin, that doesn’t make any sense—how could you say that the plaintiff is right, and then also say that the defendant is right?”

Nasrudin responded, “You know what—you are right, too!”


Nasrudin Has Left the Building

Nasrudin was a part time teacher, but got bored of the repetitive routine. One day at the beginning of class, he asked his new pupils, “Do you know what I am about to teach you?”

“No,” they responded.

“Well then,” Nasrudin said, “Since you don’t have enough background information, there is no point in me trying to teach it to you.” And with that statement, Nasrudin left the building.

The next day, he came to the class and asked them, “OK—do you know, or don’t you know?”

Thinking that they were on to his trick, the students responded, “Yes, we know.”

“Well then,” Nasrudin replied, “if you already know, there is no point in me telling you!” And with that, Nasrudin left the building.

The next day, he came to the class and once again asked them, “Do you know, or don’t you know?”

The students, once again thinking that they were on to his trick, replied, “Half of us do, and half of us don’t.”

“OK, fantastic,” Nasrudin replied. “Now the half of you that do know can tell the other half that you that don’t!” And with that statement, Nasrudin left the building.

The Turban is Mine

Nasrudin’s old friend Eynolla came to visit him one day from a far away village.

“I want to introduce you to a few people,” Nasrudin told Eynolla.

“OK,” replied Eynolla, “but please lend me a turban, for I am not properly dressed.”

So Nasrudin lent him the turban, and they went and visited one of Nasrudin’s friends. “This is my friend Eynolla,” Nasrudin said, “but the turban he is wearing is mine.”

Eynolla was deeply annoyed by the remark. He waited until they left the friend’s house, and then said to Nasrudin, “Why did you make such a comment, saying that the turban I am wearing is yours? Do not make such a comment on our next visit!”

So they made their next visit, and this time Nasrudin said, “This is my friend Eynolla—and the turban he is wearing is his; not mine.

As they left, Eynolla once again expressed his annoyance, exclaiming, “Why did you go to such lengths to say that the turban was mine and not yours. Don’t do it on our next visit.”

So as they made the next visit, Nasrudin said, “This is my friend Eynolla…and I have nothing to say about whether or not the turban he is wearing is his or mine.”

Selling a Turban

Nasrudin went to the mayor’s palace one day, and wore an elaborate turban on his head in hopes of selling it to the mayor.

“Wow!” said the mayor, “what a magnificent turban! I have never seen anything like it. How much will you sell it for?”

“Fifty thousand toman,” Nasrudin calmly replied.

A merchant happened to be in the court and heard this. The merchant was familiar with Nasrudin’s slickness, and was also familiar with the value of goods. He turned to the mayor and remarked, “That price surely does not correspond to the market value of such an item.”

The mayor heard this, and asked Nasrudin, “Your price sounds very expensive.”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “the price is based on how much I bought it for, and I paid a lot for it because I knew that there is only one mayor in the entire universe who has taste exquisite enough to buy such a turban.”

Upon hearing this compliment, the mayor immediately demanded to his servants that Nasrudin be paid full price for the turban. Nasrudin walked over to the merchant and said, “You might know the market values of turbans, but I know the market value of complimenting the mayor.”

The Neighbor’s Garden

Nasrudin spotted some ripe oranges in his neighbor’s garden, and wanted to take one. He took his ladder up to the dividing wall, climbed to the top of the wall, and pulled the ladder over.

As he began climbing down to his neighbor’s side, he suddenly heard the voice of his neighbor exclaiming, “What are you doing here!”

Nasrudin confidently replied, “I am selling ladders.”

The neighbor countered, “Does this look like the place for selling ladders?”

“Well now,” Nasrudin replied, “do you think that there is only one place to sell ladders?”

The Punishment

Nasrudin told his son to go get some water from the well. Before the son left, Nasrudin slapped him and shouted, “And make sure you don’t break the jug!”

The boy began crying, and a bystander noticed this and said, “Why did you hit him? He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Nasrudin replied, “Well, better to hit him now than to hit him afterwards if he does end up breaking it. That would be too late.”

The Right Language

A man was caught in a river current, and hanging on to some rocks to avoid being carried away. Another man saw this, and said, “Give me your hand so I can help you out.” The man in the river heard this, but did not cooperate.

Nasrudin saw this happening. He walked over to the man in the river, and asked, “What do you do for a living?”

“I collect taxes,” the man replied.

“Then take my hand,” Nasrudin said, and the man finally cooperated.

Nasrudin turned to the other man who was watching, and remarked, “Tax collectors speak the language of take, not the language of give.”

Nasrudin Defends Himself in Court

Nasrudin was in court for stealing a watermelon. The Judge exclaimed, “Nasrudin, I must give you a fine for what you have done.”

“There is no need to do that,” Nasrudin said. “You can just use this against all the credits I have accumulated for the times I didn’t steal anything.”